Looks Like Puke, Smells Like Bananas

Apologies for the long wait between updates. I haven't been too good at keeping up with this thing. So without further ado: Monkey Puke Bread.

You read that correctly. That is the name of my banana nut bread recipe. Why "Monkey Puke," you ask? Well, there is a story that goes with that. It goes a little something like this:

At one point in time, I was living with a friend of mine at her parent's house. One night, I had some bananas that were pretty much at the end of their life expectancy, so I decided to make some banana bread out of them. At about eleven o'clock at night. I get the bananas all mashed up and gooey. I put the sugar in. And the butter. I reach into the fridge to get the eggs out and! Oh no! There ARE none!

So I go my friend J2, and I say, "J2! There ARE none!" And she lets out a huge sigh. And we both get into her car and we drive. For about half an hour. On a quest to find eggs. (I would have just gone myself, but unfortunately, I did not have a license at the time.) Eventually, we find some eggs. And head back to the homestead.

Walk into the kitchen, and there. Next to the bowl that I had the first three ingredients combined in, was a note. It said, "Looks like puke, smells like bananas." Next to the writing on the piece of paper was a drawing of a monkey. Throwing up.

In the 45 minutes that we were gone, Mr. J (That would be her dad) had wandered into the kitchen, found the bowl, and left that note. I pretty much thought it was one of the most hilarious things ever, and have since called it, "Monkey Puke Bread." Just for Mr. J.

Don't be deterred by the name. It actually comes out quite delicious.

Also, I apologize in advance for any miscommunication when following the actual recipe. You have to understand that when I write recipes down, I just write down the ingredients that go into the recipe with the quantity for each. And underneath I just write, "Mix all ingredients together." I know how to mix them all together. But I'm awful at conveying it to other people. Why did I decide to do a cooking blog again?

3 mashed bananas
1/2 c. butter (or margarine) - softened
1 and 1/3 c. sugar
2 eggs
1 tsp. vanilla
2 c. flour
1 and 1/2 tsp. baking powder
1 tsp. baking soda
1/2 tsp. salt
 1/2 tsp. nutmeg
1/4 tsp. cinnamon
1/4 c. milk

1 c. chopped walnuts (optional)

Note: Do NOT use a mixer when you are making this recipe. I usually just use a fork or a wooden spoon. And a potato masher for the bananas. If you over mix the batter, you will not have delicious banana bread. (Or muffins. This goes especially for muffins.)

In a medium sized mixing bowl, mash up all of your bananas. I don't usually beat them to a pulp. I usually leave them a little chunky when possible, because I feel like it adds a little more panache to the finished product. Mix in your sugar and butter.  (Now let it sit for a few minutes, and take a look at what you have in your bowl. That is why Mr. J. called it monkey puke.)

Add eggs, milk and vanilla, mix well.

Combine all of your dry ingredients in a separate bowl.  Fold in all of your dry ingredients with your wet ingredients. Don't add all at once. But don't add too gradually. Like I said- don't over mix the batter. I usually add it in two 1-cup measurements. (Give or take.) And mix until all ingredients have just come together.

(Fold in nuts.)

The batter will be lumpy. This is normal.

Pour batter into two greased and floured loaf pans.

Bake at 350 for about one hour, or until golden brown on the tops. OR you can stick a toothpick into the center and see if it comes out clean. I hardly ever do that though. I usually just can tell if it is done by looking at it.

For muffins:
Bake at 350 for about fifteen minutes. You're going to want to take them out when they look done around the edges but still look spongy in the centers. Let them sit in their cups for about ten minutes before transferring them to wire racks to cool.

So there you have it. If you did it right, you're going to have some pretty awesome bread (or muffins) to share with your friends and family. If they didn't come out correctly, I apologize. I probably should have been more specific somewhere along in the recipe.


But if you DO decide to try it for yourself, please comment and tell me what you thought of it. Or if you changed anything for yourself.

-The Muffin Top

Results: Stuffed Chicken Thighs

All in all, I think they turned out pretty okay. Except for the one piece of chicken my boyfriend got. It was a little bit bigger than the other ones, and wasn't quite cooked all the way. I can't believe I made that mistake! Luckily, a little more heat to it made it just right. So the crisis was averted pretty easily.

For those wanting the recipe, here is a loose idea of what I did:

4 boneless skinless chicken thighs
2 cloves garlic
1 8oz package of sliced mushrooms (cleaned)
1 package of fresh spinach
Veggie Oil
Butter
Milk (or cream. Your choice.)
Wondra
Salt + Pepper to taste
Toothpicks

In a large skillet, I sauteed half of the package of mushrooms in two tablespoons of butter. As they started to brown, I added in two cloves of garlic, roughly chopped. When the mushrooms had started to caramelize, I added in the whole package of spinach. (Washed, of course.) Cooked until wilted and delicious. Salt and pepper to taste.

Set that aside to cool a little bit.

I lay out the chicken thighs between two cutting boards and flattened them with a meat mallet. This gives you a little bit more room to work with the chicken for the rolling. Seasoned the insides with a little bit of salt and pepper.

I then flipped them over -working with the inside of the thighs now  - I stuffed them with the spinach and mushroom mixture from earlier. Right down the middle there. If you're making this at home, make sure you don't over stuff your thighs! Otherwise they won't close! (Get your mind out of the gutter! I'm talking about the chicken, here.) Rolled them shut, and secured them with toothpicks.

In a medium nonstick pan, heat a splash of veggie oil. Sear the outsides of the chicken thighs. It gets a little difficult to do with the stuffing and the toothpicks. However, I recommend using a good pair of tongs to help get the job done. Searing the outside helps to lock in the flavor of the chicken, and helps to keep it moist in the cooking process.

After all sides have been properly seared, stick those bad boys on an oven sheet (lined with foil for easy clean up if so desired) and put them in a 350degree oven. About 20-25 minutes. That is just a rough time frame. Cooking varies from oven to oven. So make sure you check your work before you serve. Unlike me.

While the chicken was baking, I boiled some potatoes and made a mushroom cream sauce to top the chicken.

In a small saucepan, I melted down three tablespoons of butter over medium heat and cooked down the other half of the mushrooms. After they have properly browned, I added in a little bit of milk. I don't really have an amount for you. Just add enough so that you have enough sauce for all your chicken. Maybe about a cup. I also added a little bit of water. Because we didn't have a sufficient amount of milk left to make my chicken sauce.But we're not talking about that.

Moving right along!

When your base is all hot and bubbly, add a little bit of Wondra (you can also use flour, but trust me. Wondra is much better.) while stirring constantly. Add until desired thickness of sauce. Salt and pepper to taste.

When the potatoes are done, drain well and then whip into a frenzy. Season as desired. I just use a little bit of butter. Sometimes a dash of pepper. My boyfriend made the potatoes for me, so I'm no sure what went into them that night. But boy! Were they delicious!

Serve chicken next to potatoes. Top with mushroom sauce. Serve.

Like I said: Aside from the ONE piece that my boyfriend got, it was all pretty darn delicious. And as long as you remove the toothpicks, you should be golden and get a Delicious Award for a meal well prepared.

On another note, the banana muffins have not yet made it into existence. They have been put off so I can bring them in to work on Saturday, weather permitting. They will be made on Friday night.

Hopefully they will come out as delicious as I think they will.
-The Muffin Top

B-A-N-A-N-A-S

I can't say that I actually enjoy eating bananas. Bananas straight up kind of make me feel nauseous, which is more than a little unfortunate. So suffice it to say, whenever I actually buy bananas, they typically do not get eaten. At least not by me.

However, the great thing about bananas is that they have an incredibly long shelf life. As soon as they start getting too mushy to want to just eat them, they are still good. And even longer after that. The riper they get, the sweeter they taste. And just before you get ready to throw them away you should stop and consider your options.

I'm talking banana bread, people. I'm talking muffins. I'm talking mini banana loaves that you can take to work and share with your coworkers. I'm talking about taking something that you're about to throw away and bringing it back to life again in a wonderfully delicious baked good kind of way.

And you can put almost anything into banana bread and make it even better. Walnuts. Raisins. Dried cranberries. Chocolate chips. Orange zest. My grandmother even tops her banana walnut bread with maple flavored frosting. (If you have never tried this, I highly recommend that you do. It is amazing and delicious, and I would not steer you wrong.)

Unfortunately, I haven't bought bananas in a very long time. Luckily in the grocery store I work in, they have 'Reduced Produce.' Produce that is still good, but not as good as the really fresh stuff they just put on the shelf. Out of all the things we sell as 'Reduced Produce,' bananas are probably the only thing I buy. Usually when I am craving banana bread. And they are just about that perfect stage of ripeness where you could just take them home and make perfect bread with. This way, you don't forget about your bananas for too long and find them weeks later after they've gone well past the Point of No Return.

Plus you get a whole bunch of bananas for about a dollar. Not too shabby, right?

Tomorrow's agenda: Banana bread with and without walnuts. Possibly muffins, as well. (I bought a lot of bananas for two bucks!)

Tonight for dinner:

I have some boneless skinless chicken thighs that I'm not too sure what to do with. I'm thinking of stuffing them with some spinach and mushrooms? More on that later. Possible Guideline Recipe if all turns out well.

We'll let you know how they turn out!
-The Muffin Top

Results: Yellow Cake

In a move surprising no one, the Kitchenaid Mixer performed amazingly and made the job to getting that cake together a breeze. It took half the time that it normally does, and gave the batter a more even texture all around. I've never been more impressed with a kitchen widget as I am with this one. Although 'kitchen widget' doesn't even begin to describe. It is more like 'industrial strength kitchen BADASS' if you ask me.

So moving right along.

The yellow cake that I made on Wednesday came out... not as expected. I have a problem with always wanting to change the recipes that I have in order to change the outcome of the product. I always have a vision of 'better' in my head. That isn't to say that it came out awful. Far from it. It was delicious, actually.

The cake recipe I have for this particular yellow cake calls for an entire cup of butter (That is two sticks for you following at home) and it comes out as a very dry cake. Its okay with the right kind of frosting. However, I've noticed that when I use oil instead of butter, my cakes come out fluffier. So I decided to go half and half. I used half the butter I normally would have, and made up the rest of the fat content with veggie oil. I didn't want to nix the butter entirely because I still wanted that buttery flavor in the cake.

I did not achieve the desired effect. It was not light and fluffy, however it was rich and moist. And very, very dense. I created a kind of pound cake. Which I'm still not entire sure is a bad thing. Pound cake can be very useful. And I'll have to make a note of it in my recipe notebook for the next time that pound cake is required.

The frosting also did not come out as I had hoped, because I clearly added too little milk to the mixture. But it was still delicious. I think I should start taking actual measurements of ingredients when I make my frosting. I never do. Especially for chocolate butter cream.

Take some butter, melt it down. Add cocoa powder until desired chocolatyness has been achieved. Add confectioners sugar until you have reached appropriate volume of frosting. Splash of milk to make it spreadable.

I really have no form of measurement for frosting. "Mix all things that go into frosting together until it becomes delicious."

It was delicious. But it hardened up into almost a chocolate shell around the cake. Very delicious. Not what I was going for, however.

Oh well.
I have notes for next time, at least.
And delicious cake in the meantime.

-The Muffin Top

First Things First

My name is Andrea, although most people call me 'Drea' for short. I am a twenty-two year old foodie, currently living in Connecticut with my wonderful boyfriend. Just last night, I received a very late Christmas gift from him. Weeks before Christmas, he had ordered something for me online, and it never came. Last night, after I came home from work, it was sitting on our back step:

It was a Kitchenaid Mixer.

I still cannot put into words how excited it was to open this thing. I still cannot put into words how incredibly extravagant it was to receive something that was so amazing. Little does my boyfriend know, in buying me this top of the line electric mixer, he has essentially just asked me to marry him. I don't think he knows that this has happened, yet. I'll let him know once I've set a date.

The next day (today, rather) I was talking to a friend of mine. Mostly about my mixer, and how awesome it is. And she suggested that since I love to cook, and I love to bake, and since I am so geeky about both of them, I should start a blog. And so I have.

Now, don't go thinking "Well, she's just trying to be the next Julie and Julia." As much as I would love to cook my way through Julia Child's cookbook, or any other general cook book, I couldn't. Even if I wanted to. I would run into some serious roadblocks when it came to the seafood sections. A foodie and kitchen junkie with a food allergy: It is a nightmare come to life.

This is a blog about my cooking experiences. Learning and growing in the kitchen, and all of my lessons along the road to being an amateur cook. Along with any of the screw-ups I may will encounter. 

So this is it.
Today's project:

A golden yellow layer cake, topped with chocolate butter cream frosting.

Stay tuned for the results!
-The Muffin Top